Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober.

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.