Beer Archives

Oh, lager beer! It makes good cheer, And proves the poor man’s worth; It cools the body through and through, and regulates the health.

When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.

Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.

Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?

Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer and another one!

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming.

As Benjamin Franklin said: “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia coli, (E.coli) – bacteria found in feces. In other words, we would be consuming one kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine and beer (or tequila, rum, whisky, or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health. Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

As Benjamin Franklin said: “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia...

People who drink light ‘beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world