I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand.

If you enjoy what you do, you’ll never work another day in your life.

Desiring to have things done quickly prevents them from being done thoroughly.

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t.

The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.

Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror.

We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.