When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip

You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t. Jeff Foxworthy

I’ve been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. Zsa Zsa Gabor

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. Italian proverb

I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Dammit, I’m a billionaire. Howard Hughes

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. David Letterman

When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. Desmond Tutu

I don’t know which is worse… that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low. Calvin & Hobbes

A little learning, indeed, may be a dangerous thing, but the want of learning is a calamity to any people. Frederick Douglass