A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. W.C. Fields

I drink only to make my friends seem interesting. Don Marquis

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. Henny Youngman

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Winston Churchill

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. Dean Martin

I’ve formed a new group called Alcoholics Unanimous. If you don’t feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. Richard Harris

A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand. Billy Connolly

I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep. George Best

Man does not suffer from too much to drink, but from the hangover. Russian proverb

Never accept a drink from a urologist. Erma Bombeck