Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. W.C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. Unknown
Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is another beer. Clementine Paddleford
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin
I’m gaining weight the right way: I’m drinking beer. Johnny Damon
Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime! Bill Owen
Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it. Ray Bradbury
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin