I don’t drink because I have problems or I want to escape. I just love drinking and being drunk.
I don’t drink because I have problems or I want to escape. I just love drinking and being drunk.
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
The only time I ever said no to a drink was when I misunderstood the question.
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since the invention of the funnel.
If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I’ll add it to the wrong end.
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.