Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober. William Butler Yeats

I drink therefore I am. W.C. Fields

I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop. Noel Coward

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me. Brendan Behan

I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. Brendan Behan

I have made an important discovery…that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. Oscar Wilde

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. George Bernard Shaw

I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books. P.J. O'Rourke