Quote Archives

Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.

Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution. Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?

Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale? William Shakespeare

Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer and another one!

Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer and another one! Irish Saying

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Anonymous

When the wine is in, the wit is out.

When the wine is in, the wit is out. Thomas Becon

Wine is as good as life to a man, if it be drunk moderately: what life is then to a man that is without wine? for it was made to make men glad.

Wine is as good as life to a man, if it be drunk moderately: what life is then to a man that is without wine? for it was made to make men glad. Bible, Ecclesiasticus

I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming.

I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming. Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? Stephen Wright

I’m so holy that when I drink wine, it turns into water.

I’m so holy that when I drink wine, it turns into water. Aga Khan III

As Benjamin Franklin said: “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia coli, (E.coli) – bacteria found in feces. In other words, we would be consuming one kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine and beer (or tequila, rum, whisky, or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health. Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

As Benjamin Franklin said: “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia...

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