I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
I’ve formed a new group called Alcoholics Unanimous. If you don’t feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you.
Man does not suffer from too much to drink, but from the hangover.
Not all men who drink are poets. Some of us drink because we aren’t poets.